it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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