One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize