remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
NoShamevember. You game?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
