Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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