made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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