I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Is it because I queefed?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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