sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
