i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Drake has all the answers
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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