I think scott just propositioned me for sex
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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