My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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