I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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