just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
