There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
