It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
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