We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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