I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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