just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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