Moan for me like Helen Keller
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
