After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
