So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
This is not my ceiling
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
your like the ambassador to my penis.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
The adults are the big ones right?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
