you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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