So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
