In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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