dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
