Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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