i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
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