if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
