ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Someone signed my nipple.
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