i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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