Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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