i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
