so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
