I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Congratulations! We have a period
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
