You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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