I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
