fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
