No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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