I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
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New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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