1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
