no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize