I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize