Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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