Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
