We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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