in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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