I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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