bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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