what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
