why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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