Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
