Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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