I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
