Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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