last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
