It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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