Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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