I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
