I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
