so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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